


First Impressions and Second Chances

by winchester_7983



Series: First Impressions and Second Chances [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Canon bi!Misha, Childhood Friends, F/M, Friends to Lovers, RPF, Reader-Insert, Supernatural Convention, supernatural universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-09-26 08:00:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9874727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winchester_7983/pseuds/winchester_7983
Summary: He never thought he’d get a second chance with you. Life didn’t work like that and it wasn’t something he’d been counting on. But now, being here with you at his side, he felt like he couldn’t thank the universe enough. He wasn’t going to screw it up this time.





	1. Chapter 1

A tall, scrawny boy who didn’t have a care in the world. Someone who never let anything or anyone get to him,  and who seemed ready to take all of his problems hands on. The kind of person who always wore a smile and wanted to help make the world a better place. Getting to know him better, you realized that your first impression of him had been spot on. Misha moved into the house next door when you were 7, and despite him being a few years older, the two of you soon became the best of friends. He was like the brother you never had, and you were inseparable. Even when he was in high school and you were still an awkward preteen with braces and glasses, he always found time for you. He graduated your freshman year and went on to take some classes at the community college, wanting to stay home to help support his family. Any fears you had that you’d grow apart when he went to school soon dissipated when you saw him waiting at your doorstep when you came home from the first day of school your sophomore year. You could remember it clearly; the two of you had gone out for a movie and some ice cream, and spent the rest of the day together just talking. You honestly couldn’t remember a time when you were happier.

So when you got accepted into your choice college, on the other side of the country, you made the hardest decision you had ever made in your entire life. You decided to pursue your dreams, promising Misha through teary eyes that you would call every day, him pulling you into a tight embrace, a few tears streaming down his face as he watched you board the plane. And you had kept to your promise; for the first few months, anyway.

It all started great. You called him at the end of each day and the two of you talked for a few hours. A few hours turned into one, then only a few minutes until they stopped all together. When you came home for Christmas, you were shocked to find that Misha had taken on a full time job and was living on campus, and had stayed over the holidays. The two of you exchanged a few texts after that, but soon you lost contact all together when he stopped responding.

That was 15 years ago.

* * *

You woke up to the sound of your alarm going off at 6am. Reaching over and shutting it off, you sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from your eyes, frowning slightly. You had been dreaming about him again. Of course you had; you’d been watching the latest episode of Supernatural the night before and it was hard to not think about him every time he appeared on the screen. Your heart did a flip every time you saw his face, accompanied by a pang of sadness. You wondered why you even tortured yourself with it, but the show was good and you weren’t going to stop watching it just because one of the actors used to be your best friend.

Used to be. You sighed, getting out of bed and heading towards the bathroom. It was going to be another long day. 

* * *

Misha ran his fingers through his wet hair and looked in the mirror. He hadn’t gotten much sleep that night, waking up every few hours and not being able to fall back asleep. He finally gave up around 6 and decided to take a shower. He sighed back at his reflection and headed downstairs, grabbing a bagel and some orange juice for a quick breakfast. As he ate he walked around the house, noticing that not much had changed since he had last been here. The only difference was that instead of the smell of freshly brewed coffee and conversation in the kitchen, he was met with silence. His parents travelled frequently, and were currently in Switzerland for a month. When Misha called so say he’d be in town for the weekend, they had been more than willing to let him stay at the house while they were out. So home he came.

He finished his breakfast and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge, checking his phone. 6:45. He locked the door behind him as he walked outside and slid the key under the mat, heading to his car when he paused. He turned around and took a long breath. It had been dark when he’d arrived late last night so he didn’t get a good look, but now, in the early light of the morning, all the memories came rushing back. Your parents had moved out of the house years ago after you left for college, but everything still looked the same. It was as if time had frozen and he half expected you to come walking out the door any minute now. He shook his head and turned around, getting in his car. He quickly pulled out of the driveway and made his way downtown, glancing back at the house in his rear view mirror until it was out of sight.

A few minutes later he was jogging through the city, the crisp morning beating against his face. He smiled to himself as he ran, thinking about the mornings the two of you had spent trying to outrun the other until you couldn’t run any more. You always took the same route, starting from the City Hall and making your way towards the park on the other side of downtown, where you’d take a quick water break before making your way back. It just seemed dull now, without you there to talk to and make him laugh. Just being with you made everything seem so much better. Misha picked up his pace, not wanting to get himself down so early in the morning. Maybe this was a mistake. If he couldn’t even make it through the morning without thinking of you, how was he supposed to-

The thought remained unfinished as he made a turn and ran into another body coming from the opposite direction. He fell to the ground and lay on his back for a few seconds, groaning before he sat back up.

“Crap.” He stood up slowly, looking at the girl he’d ran into, who was sitting up and wincing as she touched her head. He offered his hand. “I’m so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. Are you ok?”

She took his hand and let him help her up. “Yeah, I’m fine. I should have been watching where I was-” she stopped mid sentence as she finally looked up, eyes widening in recognition. “Misha?”

Misha quickly dropped his hand and took a step back, heart racing as he realized who he was looking at. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be.

“Y/N.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm moving this story over from my blog, so all the parts up through what I have I'm uploading today. After that, I update every week. Follow me on tumblr at ruined-by-destiel for more of my works.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He never thought he’d get a second chance with you. Life didn’t work like that and it wasn’t something he’d been counting on. But now, being here with you at his side, he felt like he couldn’t thank the universe enough. He wasn’t going to screw it up this time.

“Y/N.”

You didn’t know if it was the fall or the fact that he was standing right there in front of you, but you could feel your head spinning.

“Misha.” Your heart was racing and you found yourself at a loss for words. “I, oh wow, what are you doing here?”

He smiled weakly. “I’m in town for the convention.”

The convention. Of course. It had completely slipped your mind that it was this weekend, and you had never considered the fact that Misha might be there. You plastered a smile on your face.

“Of course, yeah. I totally forgot that was happening. I just-” you took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves. “I just didn’t expect to see you here, that’s all.”

Misha laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, I uh, I’m staying over at my parent’s place while I’m here. I got in late last night.” He cleared his throat. “What about you? Last I heard you were still living in New York working in journalism.”

Last he’d heard? “I moved back a few months ago. It just wasn’t working out for me.” You shifted uncomfortably on your feet. “How did you know I was living in New York?”

He blushed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “My parents, uh, they ran into your parents a while back. Talked for a bit. I asked about you when they mentioned it.”

“You know, you could’ve just asked yourself.” You huffed a laugh, trying to not let all the pent up emotions over the years flood back to the surface. “It’s not like you don’t have my number. It hasn’t changed in the past 15 years.”

“15 years. Wow.” Misha rocked back on his heels. “I- I didn’t realize it had been so long.” He cleared his throat again, one of his nervous tics.

“Yeah, ok. Good to see you again, Mish.” You began to walk away, only to be grabbed by the arm and turned around so that you were facing Misha again.

“Look, I’m sorry, ok? I never meant to hurt you.” You scoffed, and he ran a hand over his face. “I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have cut you off like that. I just couldn’t…”

He trailed off and you crossed your arms, waiting for him to continue. “You couldn’t what?”

“I just… couldn’t.” He ran his fingers through his hair and linked his hands behind his head. “I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to tell you.”

“Well for starters, the truth would be nice.” You shook your head. “Look, Misha, I have to get back home and finish up some stuff. I’ll see you around, ok?” You walked back towards the way you came, missing the pained expression on Misha’s face.

* * *

Misha shut the front door and leaned against it, taking a deep breath. Out of all people, he hadn’t expected to see you again, at least not here. Why had you moved back? From what his parents had told him you were loving it in the big city, pursuing your lifelong dream of becoming a journalist. He had even looked up a few of your articles online and had been impressed by some of your stories. You seemed to have everything you’d ever wanted; so why had you left?

He grabbed his phone from his pocket and pulled up his contacts, scrolling until he saw your name on the screen. He clicked on the icon and a photo of the two of you from 15 years ago popped up on the screen. He had taken the picture a few days before you had left, when he’d taken you out for lunch and a walk around downtown. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips at the image. He hadn’t looked at it in a while, not wanting a reminder of how he’d lost the person he loved most in the world. You were right, though. It was his fault that he’d lost you. But he just couldn’t…

He ran his fingers through his hair, letting his head fall against the door. He couldn’t keep lying to himself. The two of you really needed to talk, but he didn’t know how he’d be able to find the time. Unless… it could work. But he needed to make some phone calls first. 

* * *

You unlocked the door to your apartment and tossed the keys aside, heading to your room and throwing yourself on your bed. This wasn’t what you’d had in mind when you decided to go for a run earlier than usual.

You groaned and covered your face with your hands. How could you be so stupid? You knew the convention was happening this weekend; how could you have thought that at some point you wouldn’t run into him? God. You literally ran into him. Your day couldn’t get any worse, could it?

The alarm on your phone went off and you reached over to silence it. Sighing, you sat up and grabbed some clothes and a towel, hoping a shower would help clear your head.

After a quick shower you dove right back into the article you were working on the night before. Your job wasn’t as great and didn’t pay as much as working for Time magazine when you were in New York, but all things considered it was nice to be back home. You were a few paragraphs in the story when your phone buzzed and you grabbed it, glancing at it  to see who it was. You nearly dropped your phone when you saw ‘Misha Collins’ on the screen. Hesitantly, you unlocked your phone and read his text.

_“I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from right now, but please hear me out. You were right. I never got rid of your number and it’s all my fault. Look, it’s not something that I’m proud of but I also don’t know if I can ever be able to explain it to you. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. Can we just start over again? It would mean a lot to me. Let me know. -M”_

You set your phone down on the desk and leaned back in your chair, running a hand through your hair. Of course you wanted to start over, but you also couldn’t just forget the last 15 years of your life. How was he planning on doing this? You grabbed your phone and carefully typed out a response.

_“As much as I appreciate your apology, I don’t think I can just throw away the past 15 years and pretend like they never happened. If you want to get back even a resemblance of what we used to be, you’re going to have to try a lot harder than that.”_

You were surprised to get a response within the next few seconds.

_“I know, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes. For starters, maybe accept my gift to you? I’m not home, but if you come by and check the mailbox it should be there. It would mean the world to me for you to take it. Let me know what you decide. -M”_

Your fingers hovered over the screen, contemplating whether to write back a response or not. You decided not to, and grabbed your keys instead, making the short drive to the Collins’ house. Might as well see what he was up to.

You parked on the curb and walked over to the mailbox, reaching for whatever Misha had put inside. You grabbed a small envelope with your name on it and opened it. A gasp slipped from your parted lips as you pulled out a wristband and a lanyard, and a note that read: “I don’t plan on this fixing everything, but I figured it was a start. Enjoy your Gold Pass to the convention this weekend, and I hope to see you at my panel. It’d kill me if your seat were to stay empty. -M”

You quickly stuffed the items back into the envelope, pulling out your phone and dialing Misha’s number. He answered after a few rings.

“Hey, did you get it?” You could hear the sound of muffled voices in the background.

“Misha, what the heck? I can’t take this.”

“Yes you can. Look, I can’t really talk right now, I’m getting ready to sign some autographs. My panel starts in an hour, and I’d really like it if you came. Stick around afterwards and I’ll come find you, ok?”

“No, I-” You took a deep breath. “Why are you doing this?”

“I just want to talk. I have a small break for lunch and I really want to see you.” You heard someone on the other side say his name. “Yeah I’m coming, just hold on two seconds. Y/N I really have to go now but please consider it. I hope to see you soon.”

“Misha-” you were cut off by the end tone of the call and sighed as you looked at the envelope again. What the hell were you supposed to do now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm moving this story over from my blog, so all the parts up through what I have I'm uploading today. After that, I update every week. Follow me on tumblr at ruined-by-destiel for more of my works.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He never thought he’d get a second chance with you. Life didn’t work like that and it wasn’t something he’d been counting on. But now, being here with you at his side, he felt like he couldn’t thank the universe enough. He wasn’t going to screw it up this time.

The autograph session seemed to drag on forever, and checking his watch every five minutes wasn’t making it go any faster. Misha put on a smile as the next person in line came by with a Castiel phone case, and he hastily scribbled his autograph at the bottom. It had been hard to get you a Gold Pass so last minute, but after calling a few people who were able to pull some strings for him it all worked out. He just hoped that you would actually show up.

What seemed like hours later, it was almost time for his panel to start. He walked quickly from his table to the green room, hearing the cheers of the crowd as Rob and Rich played some songs while he prepared to go on. He checked his phone again, but still nothing from you. Sliding it back into his pocket, he tried to shake it off and walked on stage, smiling and waving at the crowd. His eyes skimmed across the first few rows, hoping to see you there.

* * *

 You walked into the building, flashing your card at the volunteer. Your heart raced as you made your way through the crowd, trying to figure out where to go. When the show first started you saved up for a while to make it to a convention, but after Misha had been given a recurring role on the show you’d had to give up on that dream. Seeing him but knowing that he didn’t care if you were there or not was just too much to take.

But now, being here, it was almost surreal. Even more due to the fact that you were here to see Misha… You still couldn’t wrap your mind around it. What exactly did he want to talk about? He had been so vague on the phone, not telling you more than he wanted to see you. Checking the time you saw that you had about 15 minutes until his panel started, so you hurried to find where you needed to be.

After finding the right auditorium, you made your way to the section you were assigned to and took a seat. From here you had a good view of the stage, which also meant Misha had a good view of you. You took a deep breath and sat back in your seat, listening to Rob and Rich play the introduction music. Two minutes later Misha walked onstage, and the roar from the crowd was overwhelming. You saw him look around and your heart skipped a beat as his eyes locked on you. You offered a small wave, laughing lightly as a grin spread across his face and he winked at you. He quickly recomposed himself and waved at the crowd.

“Give it up, San Francisco!”

Screams echoed throughout the room and you couldn’t help but laugh to yourself. Seeing him like this, laughing and interacting with all these people, it was a long stretch from the guy you knew growing up.

“Alright, let’s get straight to it. Who’s got a question for me?” You let yourself relax in your seat and enjoy the panel, not wanting to think about what was going to happen in an hour.

* * *

An hour later, Rob and Rich were coming back on stage telling Misha to wrap it up. You stood up and made your way out of the room, suddenly realizing you didn’t know where you were supposed to go. So you walked around the building for a few minutes, passing by the autograph tables and getting a glance of Jared and Jensen. You definitely had to grab some photo ops with them later.

You were walking down an empty hallway, still not sure where to go, when Misha walked out one of the open doors and slammed into you. You felt yourself falling backwards but he caught your arms and steadied you. You smiled.

“We really need to stop running into each other like this.”

He laughed. “Literally. I was just about to text you, I can get away for about an hour and grab something to eat. You coming?”

“Yeah, sure.” He gestured towards the room he had just come from and the two of you started walking, then exited through a back door. There was a car waiting outside and Misha held the door open for you. You eyed him questioningly, but got in, Misha behind you.

“I figured if we only get one hour, might as well go someplace nice.”

You nodded, folding your arms and staring out the window, You weren’t quite ready for small talk yet. Thankfully Misha got the hint and didn’t try to make conversation with you.

After five minutes the car pulled into a small diner, in a part of town you weren’t that familiar with. You and Misha got out of the car and went inside, finding a table quickly since there were only a handful of other people inside. Misha grabbed a menu and started reading, while you waited patiently for whatever it was he had to say. A waitress came by and took his order, you only going for a Coke. And then you were left alone again with Misha.

You stared at him for a few seconds and watched as he stared at his lap and drummed his fingers on the table, waiting for him to make the first move. He finally looked up and sighed, giving you a weak smile.

“So.”

“So.” You folded your arms tightly across your chest. “What are we doing here?”

“Getting lunch. I thought it wouldn’t be as awkward to talk if there was food involved.”

“That’s not what I mean.” You licked your lips. “I mean, what are we doing here in general? What is there even to talk about?”

He stopped drumming his fingers and ran a hand through his hair. “A lot, I think. You deserve an explanation at least.”

You huffed out a humorless laugh. “You think?” You could feel the anger rising in your chest. “We were best friends, Misha. And best friends don’t just stop talking overnight. I tried to get back in touch with you for months. Months. And what did I get for it? Nothing, except finding out from your parents that you had moved out and didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”

“That’s not-”

“But it is! I mean, what other explanation is there? You forgot? You forgot to call, to write, to even send a small “hey, sorry, I’ve been super busy,” which is a lame excuse, but still something? You can’t tell me,” you could feel the tears start to prickle at the back of your eyes, “that what we had meant nothing to you. Because that’s what I’m getting.”

Misha reached for your hand. “Y/N, I-”

“You know what, I don’t even know why I agreed to this in the first place. I can’t do this.” You grabbed your purse and walked out the diner, tears starting to fall down your face. You ignored the sound of Misha calling your name as he came after you and started walking faster, just wanting to get away. You only made it a few feet before Misha grabbed your arm from behind and pulled you to a stop.

“Y/N, please, you didn’t even let me explain-”

“That’s just it, there’s nothing to explain!” You were full on crying now. “You basically just threw our friendship down the drain, and for what? I don’t even get to know why, why won’t you just tell me-”

“I love you.”

With that Misha cut you off and you were left speechless, opening and closing your mouth, but no words coming out. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. “What did you just say?”

“I said that I love you.” Misha grabbed your hands and you opened your eyes, looking up at him. “I’m completely, utterly, undeniably in love with you, Y/N. I have been since the day we met. I couldn’t stand the thought of living a life without you, and talking to you, knowing that we would never be together was just too much. And that,” Misha looked at you sadly, “that is why I cut you out of my life.” He looked away, blinking tears out of his eyes. “It hurt too much.”

You stood there for a moment, turning over in your head the words that had just come out of his mouth. Shaking your head, you pulled your hands away from his grasp and took a step back.

“I can’t do this right now, Misha.” You shook your head again when he tried to speak. “I can’t. No.” You turned on your heel and walked away, no longer crying but feeling nothing on the inside. The sound of Misha calling your name faded into the distance as you kept walking, never looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm moving this story over from my blog, so all the parts up through what I have I'm uploading today. After that, I update every week. Follow me on tumblr at ruined-by-destiel for more of my works.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He never thought he’d get a second chance with you. Life didn’t work like that and it wasn’t something he’d been counting on. But now, being here with you at his side, he felt like he couldn’t thank the universe enough. He wasn’t going to screw it up this time.

You sat at the edge of your bed, staring at your hands neatly folded in your lap. You’d been home for at least half an hour, and you were still trying to process Misha’s words. “I love you.” You had no idea what to respond to that, so you didn’t. Instead, you ran; you ran away from your best friend, the one good thing that had ever happened to you.

You scoffed. But then again, if he really was your best friend, why hadn’t he said anything for the past 15 years?

Groaning, you let yourself fall back on your bed, closing your eyes. How had this happened? You tried to convince yourself that it wasn’t your fault, but why else would he have cut you out of his life? But then it didn’t make sense why he said he’s always loved you…

You grabbed one of your pillows and held it over your face, trying to drown out the rest of the world. This is not what you needed right now.

The sound of your phone ringing pulled you from your thoughts and you sat up, setting the pillow aside and reaching for your phone. When you saw the name on the screen you rolled your eyes and silenced it, laying back down. Seconds later it began to ring again, this time you sent it straight to voicemail.

The third time it rang you sighed, sitting up and answering the call. “Misha…”

“Y/N, please. Just let me explain.”

“Explain what?” You scoffed. “15 years without so much as text, and within a day of seeing each other again you’re telling me you love me? You can’t expect me to just be ok with that.”

“I know, I know. I just,” you heard him sigh. “I had to. You deserve to know.”

“I deserve more than that, Misha. You think that you can just show up with some celebrity perks, say you’re sorry and expect me to be ok with it? With any of this?”

“No, I don’t. Which is why I really wish you’d let me try to fix it.”

You shook your head, smiling sadly. “I don’t know if this is something that can just be fixed, Mish. Just-,” you sighed, “just give me some time, ok? It’s a lot to take in at once.”

“I understand. And I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk about it. I’m not going to make that mistake again.” There were some shuffling noises on the other side of the line before he spoke again. “Do me one favor? I know I’m in no position to ask for anything from you, but… don’t let that pass go to waste. I don’t expect any visits but at least go experience the rest of the convention. Please?”

You smiled softly and nodded, forgetting he couldn’t see you. “Yeah, ok.” Your words came out in a small whisper. “Bye, Misha.”

“Ok. Bye.”

You hung up and set your phone on the nightstand, running your fingers through your hair. The clock on your wall read 1:47. Maybe you’d go back later. But first, you needed something to eat. You hadn’t gotten lunch, after all…

* * *

You returned to the convention center a little over an hour later, shouldering your bag anxiously. Where to next? You pulled out the schedule you’d grabbed earlier from your bag, finding the events that were happening now. Mark and Ruth were doing a panel that ran for another half hour, while Jensen and Jared were doing photo ops in about five minutes. You smiled, knowing immediately this is where you were headed next. Ever since you started watching the show and gotten to know more about them, you’d always wanted to meet the two. Jared’s “Always Keep Fighting” campaign especially spoke to you, and you had every campaign shirt. You found out which way to go and hurried so that you’d be one of the first in line.

There was already a decent crowd when you found the line, taking your place at the end. It moved at a slow pace, giving you time to think about your situation with Misha. You wanted to work things out with him, you really did, but you still couldn’t look past the fact that you’d lost so much time together, the reason still unknown. You really wished Misha would just give you a straight answer instead of trying to make excuses for himself.

You were drawn out of your thoughts when the line moved again, and you were in the line of sight of the two men. You anxiously watched as the people in front of you got their pictures taken, and then it was your turn. You walked towards the guys, hands shaking every so slightly. They were talking about something and you thought you heard Misha’s name at one point. Jared finally turned towards you and smiled.

“Hey, how are you?”

“I’m great.” You couldn’t stop smiling, and Jared laughed.

“This your first convention?”

“Yeah, is it that obvious?” You laughed and turned towards Jensen, only then noticing he was staring at you with a funny look. You frowned. “What, do I have something on my face?”

He shook his head out of his daze and smiled. “No, sorry. You just look really familiar. But hey, we don’t have a lot of time, so what can we do for ya?”

You sandwiched yourself between them and felt the air being squeezed out of you when they hugged you tight. Your picture was taken and you quickly gave each of them another hug before you left, feeling perfectly content and accomplished. You made your way back to the main hall, looking at your schedule. Kim and Briana were about to take the stage, and you still had some time to kill before getting your autographs. You could really use a good laugh right now, and you were sure to have a few during this panel.

* * *

You left the panel a few minutes before it ended when you saw a message flash on the screen, saying that Jared and Jensen were signing autographs. Making your way down the long hallways, you found where the boys were and got in line, still holding onto your picture from earlier.

This line moved quicker than the one for pictures, as people weren’t stopping to talk as much. Soon you were at the front of the line, and you smiled as you handed Jensen your photo.

“Hey sweetheart, how are you?”

“I’m great, thanks. Could you address it to Y/N?”

Jensen’s marker hovered over the photo and he slowly looked up at you, narrowing his eyes. “Y/N… not Misha’s Y/N?”

You felt every muscle in your body tense. “I- how did you…?” You trailed off, not knowing what to say. How did he know who you were?

“Damn, I knew you looked familiar.” Jensen tapped his marker against the table, contemplating over something. “Hey, hang around for just a bit? Until after we’re done with autographs?” He signed your picture and slid it over to Jared, who was listening intently to every word. “We have a short break after this, maybe we can talk.”

Your heart was pounding in your chest. On one hand, Jensen and Jared knowing who you were? And wanting to actually have a conversation with you? This was something you’d dreamed of forever. But then again, the topic of conversation wasn’t one you really wanted to discuss at the moment.

You sighed, knowing you were holding up the line and needed to make a decision fast. “Ok, I’ll wait. But I have a lot of questions.”

“And I’d be more than happy to answer them for you.” Jensen smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “This shouldn’t take much longer.”

Jared handed you back your picture, a similar look on his face. You thanked both men and walked away, taking a seat on a nearby bench. You examined their signatures more closely and smiled when you saw Jensen had added a smiley face next to your name, and a crown drawn on your head. You were definitely framing this when you got home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm moving this story over from my blog, so all the parts up through what I have I'm uploading today. After that, I update every week. Follow me on tumblr at ruined-by-destiel for more of my works.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He never thought he’d get a second chance with you. Life didn’t work like that and it wasn’t something he’d been counting on. But now, being here with you at his side, he felt like he couldn’t thank the universe enough. He wasn’t going to screw it up this time.

You were fiddling with the picture in your hands when you saw someone’s feet approaching. Looking up, you saw Jared standing in front of you, a smile on his face.

“Hey, you ready?”

“I’m not really sure what I should be ready for, but I guess so.” You smiled nervously and stood, following Jared and Jensen down the hall. You paused at the elevator, Jensen pressing the button to go up. You stood around for a bit, if not awkwardly, not saying anything to each other. Jensen finally broke the silence.

“So, you having a good time at the convention?”

You looked at him, smiling. “Yeah, it’s been really fun. Got my picture with you guys, I attended Briana and Kim’s panel and before that I saw Misha’s panel-” you trailed off when you registered what you’d said. You cleared your throat and looked down at your feet. “Yeah, it’s been good.”

Thankfully the elevator doors opened at that moment, and the guys didn’t press you further. You all entered the elevator and went up a floor, exiting and walking down the hallway. This floor was emptier of crowds, but the occasional fan stopped to say hi. Jared and Jensen led you to a room at the end of the hall and let you in, following behind. There was a couch and a few chairs inside, along with a small table, TV, and mini fridge. You sat down tentatively on the couch, setting down your bag and folding your arms on your lap, waiting. What was it you were waiting for?

“Can I get you something to drink?” Jared walked over to the mini fridge, shooting the question over his shoulder.

“Uh, sure. Water is fine.”

He retrieved a water and two beers from the fridge, handing you a water and taking a seat in one of the chairs across from you. Jensen pulled the other one so that he was sitting next to Jared.

You shifted nervously in your seat, waiting for someone to tell you what was going on. Jensen cleared his throat, if not to relieve some of the tension in the silent room. “So I guess you’re probably wondering how we know who you are.”

You laughed nervously. “Yeah, it crossed my mind to ask.”

Jensen smiled, and you felt much more at ease. “Well, earlier I thought I recognized you from somewhere, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. And then when you told us your name, I remembered: Misha has this picture in his wallet, I saw it one day when we were out for lunch. It’s him when he was younger and this girl sitting on a porch, laughing and smiling. I asked him who it was and all I got out of him was, ‘an old friend.’ Later I swiped his wallet when he wasn’t looking and turned it over, on the back was written ‘Me and Y/N, summer 2002.’ That’s you, right?”

As he was talking, you could feel the tears prickling at the back of your eyes. Now as Jensen finished speaking, you laughed softly, trying not to cry. “Yeah, it’s me. I remember when that picture was taken, too.” You sniffled a bit, barely keeping the tears at bay. “It was the day before I left for college. We spent that whole day together. He’d taken me out for lunch and to see a movie, then we walked around town for a while, just talking. We grew up here, you know?” You looked down at your hands, playing with the bracelet you wore. “We went back to my place afterwards and sat on the porch for hours, laughing and just having a good time. His mom took that picture.” You wiped a stray tear that fell down your cheek with the back of your hand. “Funny how things change over the years.” You began to feel the tears come more freely now.

Jared got up and grabbed a box of tissues from the table, sitting next to you on the couch and handing them over. You thanked him, taking one and wiping your eyes.

“Thanks.” You were crying for a bit after that, until Jared broke the silence.

“You know, he still talks about you sometimes.” You looked at him, curious. “Not directly to us, but sometimes he’ll mumble something under his breath when we’re somewhere or doing something, like ‘Y/N loved Italian food,’ or ‘Y/N would have loved this.’ I actually don’t even know if he realizes he’s doing it.”

You shook your head in disbelief. “Sorry, I just have a hard time believing that I even crossed his mind during all these years.”

Jensen furrowed his brow. “You mean you talked at all since that day?”

You huffed a humorless laugh. “This is the first that I’ve seen or heard from him in 15 years. I just happened to run into him yesterday morning.” You rolled your eyes, laughing slightly. “Literally.”

Jared and Jensen shared a look and you frowned. “What, what is it?”

Jensen ran a hand over his face. “It’s not our place to talk. You should just talk to Misha.”

“He’s not going to tell me anything.” You sighed. “I’ve already tried that route and all I got out of him-” you cut yourself off, not wanting to talk about it. “Look, I know he wants to fix this. I know he does. But he’s not talking to me. At least, not in the way I want him to.”

Jared sighed, adjusting on the couch so he was fully facing you now. “What do you want to know?”

“Jay-” Jensen started but Jared cut him off.

“There are things that Misha needs to tell her. But that doesn’t mean she can’t know what’s been going on in his life these past 15 years.” He turned back toward you.

You immediately opened your mouth to speak, but Jared wasn’t finished. “And before you ask, I can’t tell you why he hasn’t said anything in so long. Even if I wanted to, it’s not something he ever told us.”

You sighed, nodding. It was probably something Misha should explain, anyways. “Ok. Well, how’s he been? For the amount of time you’ve known him for, that is.”

Jared shrugged. “I mean, great. He loves his job, and he loves the fans. Conventions have always been one of his favorite parts about being on the show.

“That and trying to embarrass us every chance he gets.” Jensen chimed in with a chuckle.

That earned a smile from you, familiar with Misha’s antics. You had been the victim of most of them growing up.

The three of you talked for a while, about working on the show and some about their lives. Never in a million years did you think you’d be here, sitting in a room with Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki, talking like you were best friends. You were really having a good time with them, and they seemed to like talking to you too.

Eventually, Jared looked at his watch and stood, motioning at Jensen. “We’re doing a meet and greet here soon, so we should probably head out. But you’re welcome to stay in here,” he added when he saw you begin to stand. “The only other person who uses this room is Misha and he should be back soon, so if you wanna talk…” He trailed off, waiting for your response.

You sat back down, mulling over the thought in your head. Jensen seemed to sense your inner struggle and walked over to you.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Hang around if you like, if not, we’re not pressuring you. But do give him a chance eventually.”

“Thanks. And I will.” You smiled as Jensen pulled you into a brief hug, much more personal than the one he’d given you earlier. Jared also gave you a quick squeeze before the two of them left, and you were alone.

You still weren’t sure what you were going to do. Should you try and talk to Misha now? After talking with Jared and Jensen you felt like you owed him a chance to explain himself, but it still felt too soon after you saw him that morning.

Your decision was made for you before you could give it any more thought, when the door handle clicked open. You quickly stood from the couch as he walked in.

Misha closed the door and looked up, noticing you standing there. His facial expressions quickly changed from surprise to joy, then to confusion.

“Y/N. What are you doing in here?”

You smiled nervously. “Jared and Jensen told me I could wait here for you. I hope that’s ok.”

Misha shoved his hands in his pockets, taking a few steps towards you, but still keeping some distance. “You’ve been talking to them?”

“A bit, yeah. They said you still have that picture of us.”

He smiled, retrieving his wallet out of his back pocket and pulling out the picture, handing it to you. Taking it, you smiled at the well kept condition of the picture. You handed it back to Misha and he took a seat in one of the chairs, and you on the couch.

“We used to be best friends, you know.”

“Don’t think I forgot that, Y/N.” Misha wouldn’t meet you eyes as he spoke in a low tone, as if he were afraid speaking too loud would scare you off. “Which is why I’ve decided to tell you.”

You took a step towards him. “Tell me what?”

“Everything. Like I said earlier, you deserve to know.” He finally looked up to meet your gaze. “So, where should we start?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm moving this story over from my blog, so all the parts up through what I have I'm uploading today. After that, I update every week. Follow me on tumblr at ruined-by-destiel for more of my works.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He never thought he’d get a second chance with you. Life didn’t work like that and it wasn’t something he’d been counting on. But now, being here with you at his side, he felt like he couldn’t thank the universe enough. He wasn’t going to screw it up this time.

“How about you start by answering the question you’ve been avoiding for two days now, Misha?” Your voice trembled slightly, admitting to yourself that you were somewhat nervous for what he was about to say. “And better yet, why won’t you tell me?”

Misha sighed, nodding slowly and clearly hurt by your tone. You felt sorry for a moment, but then remembered this was all on him. He’d cut you entirely out of his life with no explanation whatsoever. He was right, you absolutely deserved to know why.

“It’s not something that’s easy for me to talk about. Especially with you.” He ran a hand over his face, taking a deep breath. “I knew pretty early on, but I never said anything. I couldn’t, not in our neighborhood at least. Especially with your parents.”

You frowned. “I don’t understand. What do my parents have to do with anything?”

“Not just them, the entire community!” He paused, taking a steadying breath in order to remain calm, “I didn’t feel safe saying it to anyone, my brother is the only one I ever told. Coming out isn’t exactly something I could do during a family dinner without pretty much being disowned.”

You frowned, not comprehending what he was saying. “Coming- Misha, what are you saying?”

“I’m bi, Y/N.” his words came out in a rush, turning to face away from you.

You blinked a few times, letting his words sink in. “Ok.”

“And I understand if you’re not ok with it, a lot of people weren’t when I told them, but I just… I feel like you needed to know.”

You nodded slowly. “Yeah, ok.”

Misha furrowed his brow. “‘Ok.’ That’s it, that’s all you have to say?”

You shrugged. “Well, what were you expecting?”

“I don’t know Y/N, maybe, ‘you’re such a disappointment,’ or, ‘you’re disgusting,’ or something else freaking painful!” He began to raise his voice, becoming more upset. “Just something other than ‘ok!’l

“Hey, hey!” You pushed yourself out of your seat and kneeled in front of Misha, grabbing his face in both your hands. “This is why you stopped talking to me? You thought I was going to reject you?”

He gave a small shrug, a sad smile appearing. “My parents did.”

You brushed your thumbs over his cheekbones and sighed softly, smiling. “Well then, I guess you’re an even bigger idiot than I thought you were.”

A grin came over his face as he realized that you were being serious, a huff of relief escaping his lungs.

“Hey, you ok?” You asked with sincerity.

“Yeah. I’m ok.” He took one of your hands, pressing a kiss to your palm.

Your heart fluttered, such a simple yet intimate gesture, especially considering what he’d told you earlier that day. You laughed it off, pulling back and standing up straight. “I’m going to take your word for it before this becomes a “The Fault In Our Stars” moment.”

“Ok.” Misha smiled and winked at you, making you laugh again. You’d really missed him.

You must have been staring because all of a sudden he was on his feet, his eyes boring into yours as he took both your hands in his.

“Want to tell me what you’re thinking about?”

You hummed in response, closing your eyes. “A lot.”

He brought one hand up to his lips and kissed your knuckles, so soft you barely felt it, but still tugging at the strings in your heart. “Like what?”

“How much I missed you. This.” You sighed. “Wondering what ‘this’ is, really.”

Misha chuckled, pulling you into his arms, you melting into his touch. “‘This’ can be whatever you want it to be. But for now I’m just glad you’re actually here with me.”

You nodded into his chest, his familiar scent filling your nose. You still weren’t sure where you stood, but for now this was good. It was a start.

You pulled back after a moment, still holding hands. “Do you have to be anywhere?”

Instead of responding Misha just pulled you back into him, burying his face in your hair. “Not until Jared comes in here yelling for me to get to mine and Jensen’s panel.”

Laughing, you pulled back against his objections. “You gotta go.”

“But I don’t wanna.” Misha whined and tried to pull you back, but you wiggled out of his grasp. Snatching your purse from the floor you opened the door and leaned against the jamb, smiling at him.

“Come on, I’ll be there. Front and center. You know, for moral support.”

He chuckled and followed you out, your hands brushing against each other’s as you walked down the hall, Jared’s voice reaching you from all the way downstairs.

* * *

Now that things were getting better with Misha, it gave you the chance to appreciate the rest of the convention more. Soon after the panel started you were rolling with laughter, tears leaking from your eyes at some of the answers Jensen and Misha were giving.

The room silenced itself again when Jensen asked for the next question, everyone looking at the teenage girl who was holding the microphone.

“Hi, my question is more of an inquiry, but some of my friends and I wanted to know, who was the girl you were seen with upstairs, Jensen?”

Your heart stopped for a minute. You hadn’t thought that anyone might have noticed when you went into the room with the two guys.

Jensen shared a quick look with you, then with Misha, who shrugged, before turning back towards the girl.

“Uh, well she’s actually an old friend of Misha’s. She was here and we thought we’d bring her upstairs to surprise him when he finished with his panel earlier.” You let out a silent breath, thankful for Jensen’s quick thinking. But the girl wasn’t done yet.

“Misha, were you surprised?”

“Yeah, that’s one word for it.” He winked at you briefly. “It doesn’t happen often but there are times when Y/N really surprises me. She’s really something.”

Your could feel your face get warm at his words and couldn’t help but smile. Jensen and Misha turned to face the other side of the room, where another girl was holding up a mic.

“Hi, my question is for Misha.”

Jensen rolled his eyes and groaned into the mic, causing the audience to laugh.

Misha leaned forward in his seat, towards the fan with the mic. “Ignore him, he’s cranky because he hasn’t had his nap today.” More laughter from the audience. “What’s your question?”

“I was wondering if there’s anyone special in your life right now.”

He smiled and looked down at his feet. “I uh, I’m still waiting to hear back on that one.” He shared a quick glance with you, a blush making its way up your neck. “But let’s just say I’m hoping.”

“Hoping to get some later tonight, right Mish?” Jensen chimed in with a cheery tone, making you gasp slightly, but no one around you seemed to notice, as they were too busy laughing.

“Well I mean,” Jensen glanced over at you, and the dumbfounded expression on your face made him let out a giggle, causing Misha to join in on the audience’s laughter. “I mean, you like her, right?”

Misha shook his head, still laughing. “You are incorrigible.”

The fan piped in again. “Is is the same girl you mentioned earlier? Y/N?”

Misha rubbed the back of his head and smiled coyly. “Maybe,” he mumbled into the microphone.

“Whatever, anyone who hears the way you talk about her knows it.” Jensen clapped a hand on Misha’s shoulder. “We may have only just met but I love her already. And I know Jared does too.” You smiled and Jensen slyly winked at you, disguising it as a wink to the crowd. “I really do hope things work out between them.”

Questions resumed as normal after that, but your thoughts kept going back to Misha. Your interaction with him earlier rekindled some feelings you hadn’t experienced in years, and you weren’t quite sure how to feel about it. When he kissed your hand… you really wanted to know what his lips felt on yours.

You shook your head, not allowing yourself to think like that. First, you had to catch up on what time you had lost over the years. After that… maybe then you could start trying to figure out your feelings for Misha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm moving this story over from my blog, so all the parts up through what I have I'm uploading today. After that, I update every week. Follow me on tumblr at ruined-by-destiel for more of my works.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He never thought he’d get a second chance with you. Life didn’t work like that and it wasn’t something he’d been counting on. But now, being here with you at his side, he felt like he couldn’t thank the universe enough. He wasn’t going to screw it up this time.

After the panel, you wandered around the convention center for a while. You went by a few fan booths and bought a few trinkets, losing yourself in the excitement. You’d dreamt of attending a convention ever since you started watching the show, and it was everything you thought it’d be.

Around 5 you sent a text to Misha saying you were heading home for the day. You still had to finish the article you were working on, and after today you deserved a good night’s rest. You didn’t bother to wait for an answer, knowing he probably wouldn’t see it for a while. After making sure you had all your things, you made your way out of the convention area, heading towards your apartment.

* * *

You lifted your head from your desk, squinting as your eyes adjusted to the dark room. You’d fallen asleep at your laptop. Great. Sitting up straight you stretched, feeling your stiff joints pop, and pressed a button on your computer to wake it up. The sudden brightness of the screen made you wince, and you checked to see the time in the bottom corner. 9:47. You still had time before you had to send the article in to your boss. After a quick skim you realized you’d just finished when you dozed off, so all that was left was to email it in.

You found your way across the room and turned on the light, setting your computer on the nightstand. Usually you didn’t go to bed so early, but today had been exhausting, both physically and emotionally. You undressed and put on your pajamas, then went through to brush your teeth in the bathroom.

As you went about your nightly routine you checked your phone for messages, feeling a pang of sadness when you saw that Misha hadn’t texted back. You couldn’t be too upset though, since you knew he probably barely had time to look at his phone during the convention. Still, you thought he’d at least want to talk some more after your conversation earlier.

After finishing up in the bathroom, you headed to your bed and got to work on sending in your article. It took about five minutes and you were just about to turn the light out when you heard a knock at the door.

“What the heck?” It couldn’t be much later than 10, and you couldn’t think of anyone that would be over so late. You reluctantly rolled out of bed and threw on a pair of sweatpants, shuffling towards the door.

You were met with a  raised hand, about to knock again when you opened the door. Misha smiled. “Hey!”

“Mish, hi! Come on in.” You smiled, a confused look on your face. “What are you doing here?”

You shut the door behind him as he entered. “Well, I felt bad I didn’t get to see you again before you left, so I thought I’d drop by before I headed back for the night.” He scratched the back of his head, just then taking notice of your attire. “I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”

“Oh, no. I was just finishing up on an article, you’re totally fine.” You walked towards the kitchen, grabbing a glass. “Can I get you anything?”

“No, thanks. I’m fine.” You nodded, getting yourself some water and sitting at the table, Misha taking a seat next to you. He cleared his throat before looking up at you. “So, how’d you like the rest of the convention today?”

You took a drink before answering. “It was really good. I loved seeing you and Jensen’s panel, too. You guys seem like you have a lot of fun up there.”

“Yeah, we do.” He shifted in his seat. “Sorry about what Jensen said, he likes to embarrass me in front of the masses. But he means well.”

You chuckled. “It’s fine, really. I know he does. Both him and Jared seem like great guys.”

Misha smiled, leaning back in his chair. “They are. They’ve become really good friends to me over the years, and I really appreciate them.” He drummed his fingers on the table and you sat in silence for a few moments.

You finally broke the silence. “Why are you here Mish? Really.”

Misha huffed a nervous laugh. “Y/N, I told you that I loved you today. And you ditched me. That’s not a good response in my book. I just-” He took a deep breath. “I don’t know, I need you to say something, anything.”

You took a deep breath and ran a hand over your face as Misha continued. “Look, I don’t expect for you to return my feelings, but I need to know that we’re still going to be ok.” He smiled sadly. “I don’t think I can stand losing you again.”

“Misha…” you trailed off with a sigh, a mix of pain and sadness crossing Misha’s face as you did.

“Ok.” He stood up, walking towards the door. “Ok, well…” he shook his head. “I’ll see you around, I guess.” And with that he walked out.

Your heart was pounding in your chest. You couldn’t deny what you felt, but were you really ready for this to happen? Fifteen years later and it all came down to this one moment. Fifteen years without the one thing that ever felt right, the only constant that you’d had in your life, gone. Fifteen years of wondering what you’d do when you had the chance to make things right again…

You knocked your chair over as you ran out of your house, ignoring that you had no shoes or a coat on. The cool concrete of the steps under your feet didn’t slow you as you bolted down the stairs and shoved the front door of your building open. Misha was just starting to drive away when you reached the parking lot.

You screamed his name at the top of your lungs. “ _Misha!_ ”

Seeing you running and yelling his name caused Misha to stop the car. He opened his door and stepped out, engine still running.

“Y/N?” You could hear the hope in his voice. You stopped running as you reached him, trying to catch your breath.

“Misha, I-” he cut off whatever you were about to say by closing the distance between you, grabbing your face with both hands and pressing his lips to yours. Your hands found their way to his chest and you fingers clenched in his shirt, holding on like your life depended on it and melting into the kiss.

_Finally._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm moving this story over from my blog, so I'm uploading all the parts up through what I have, and after that, I update every week. Follow me on tumblr at ruined-by-destiel for more of my works.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He never thought he’d get a second chance with you. Life didn’t work like that and it wasn’t something he’d been counting on. But now, being here with you at his side, he felt like he couldn’t thank the universe enough. He wasn’t going to screw it up this time.

You were pressed up against the door the moment you were both inside again, kissing each other passionately. Misha lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist, your hands on either side of his face, tangled in his hair. You broke apart briefly for air, both of you panting from lack of air, and you stared at his kiss swollen lips as you thought about what you were about to say.

“Misha…”

He cut you off with another kiss, more than happy to silence you. You smiled and pulled away again, trying once more to speak.

“Hey, we need to talk about this.”

“Why talk when we can just do?” Misha began to kiss down your jaw and to your neck but you pushed him away.

“Misha, wait.”

With a sigh he finally pulled back, setting you down on the ground. “What?”

“We need to talk about what this means. Us being together, or, whatever.”

He brushed a stray hair from your face and smiled. “It means that we get to be happy, and most importantly, together.” He placed a light kiss on your lips. “That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

You nodded. “Well, yeah, but-” you shook your head. “Is it going to work? I mean, you’re only here for two more days before you have to leave again, and I can’t just quit my job and leave.” You could feel tears starting to well up. “And I still need to make sense of this, of want I’m feeling, it’s just a lot to take in right now and-”

You were cut off by Misha cupping his hands around your face. “Hey, hey. It’s ok. It’s going to be fine.” He pressed his forehead against yours, speaking softly. “I know it’s a lot, and I know there’s still a lot that needs to be discussed. But right now you need to sleep. You’re tired, you’re stressed, and it’s not going to do any good to talk about it now. Ok?” You nodded, a tear slipping from your eye and down your cheek. Misha brushed it away with his thumb. “Come on. Let’s get you in bed.”

You took his hand a held it tight as you walked back to your room, taking off your sweatpants and pulling back the covers. Right before you got in you turned back to Misha, not wanting him to leave just yet. “Will you, will you stay? Just for a while.”

He nodded with a smile, shedding his clothes until he was in his boxers and undershirt, and slipped in bed next to you. He pulled you closer until your back was pressed up against his chest. You could already feel yourself drifting off, the events of the day finally catching up to you.

In a sleepy haze, you vaguely made out the words Misha was saying as he played with your hair. You hummed in response and he laughed, pressing a kiss to your shoulder with a soft “I love you,” and you were out like a light.

* * *

You woke up to movement at your side, and you blinked at the rays of sunshine creeping through your blinds. You sleepily turned to face the other side of your room and saw Misha getting dressed. His hair was all mussed from sleep and you smiled, wanting to reach over and smooth it all out for him.

When he was done putting on his shoes he stood up straight and noticed that you were awake. A smile came across his face. He spoke softly to you.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No, it’s ok. What time is it?” You craned your neck to try and read the the clock on your bedside table.

“It’s just past 7. I need to get back and get ready for today.” He sat down on the bed and reached to brush the hair out of your face. “I’ll see you later?”

“Mhmm.” Your eyes drifted shut at his touch and you suddenly couldn’t form coherent words.

Misha chuckled, leaning over and kissing you on the forehead. “Alright, text me when you get there.” And with that, he left the room.

You fell back asleep even before you heard the front door close.

* * *

You woke up a few hours later, feeling refreshed after sleeping in much later than usual. You got out of bed and washed your face before grabbing your phone and heading towards the kitchen for some breakfast.

After getting the coffee started you sat at the table, munching on some toast as you read your messages. One was from your boss, congratulating you on writing another great article, and one from your mom, asking how your weekend was going. You laughed to yourself. If only she knew…

Your last message was from Misha, sent about an hour before.

_“My schedule isn’t as busy today so I have some extra time for lunch. Meet me around noon? Let me know.”_

You got up and poured yourself some coffee, tentatively sipping as you responded.

_“Tell me the place and I’ll be there ;)”_

You were walking back to your room when your phone rang. You answered it as you sat down on your bed. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.”

You smiled at the sound of Misha’s voice. “Hey, what’s up?”

“I had two seconds so I thought I’d give you a call.”

“How thoughtful.” You smirked and took another sip of your coffee. “So lunch?”

“Yeah, do you remember that place we used to go all the time? The sandwich place downtown-”

“On the corner of Washington and Elm, yeah I remember.” A smile grew on your face as the memories came flooding back.

“How does that sound?”

“Amazing. I haven’t been there in forever.” You didn’t find a lot of time to go out and eat; most of the time you weren’t working you either ordered in or made something yourself. It had been forever since you’d eaten out. “I can’t wait.”

You could practically see the grin plastered on Misha’s face when he spoke again. “Me neither. Hey, I have to get back now but I’ll see you soon. I love you.”

“See ya.” You hung up and set your phone down next to you, watching your coffee swirl in the mug. You felt kind of bad, not saying it back to him. But you still couldn’t bring yourself to say it.

It’s not that you didn’t want to- you really did. But love… love is a strong word. You didn’t want to go throwing it around when you still didn’t know what the future held for you and Misha. Of course you wanted to be with him, it’s what you’d always dreamt of. But your lives were running on a completely different track now. And you couldn’t expect him to just drop everything and come running back to you, nor could he think that of you.

You put down your mug and brought your legs up close, hugging your knees and resting your chin on top. You needed to get your priorities straight. What did you want, really want?

“I want to be with him,” you thought out loud. If only it was that simple…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm moving this story over from my blog, so I'm uploading all the parts up through what I have, and after that, I update every week. Follow me on tumblr at ruined-by-destiel for more of my works.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He never thought he’d get a second chance with you. Life didn’t work like that and it wasn’t something he’d been counting on. But now, being here with you at his side, he felt like he couldn’t thank the universe enough. He wasn’t going to screw it up this time.

You arrived at the Sub Shop around a quarter till noon, taking a seat in one of the corner booths. You ordered an Iced Tea to sip while you waited for Misha, trying to calm down the erratic beating of your heart. You were still trying to figure out your feelings for him, and the situation you were both in. It wasn’t ideal, what you had, but at least it was something. And you really believed that eventually the two of you could reach the point of having a real relationship. **  
**

You couldn’t help but smile at the thought: a relationship with Misha. Your childhood best friend, the only person who’d ever really connected with you on an emotional level. And yes, who had also been nonexistent in your life for a good chunk of time, but still came back. He really wanted to fix things. It really seemed to devastate him when he thought he’d lost you for good, and honestly, that kind of made you love him even more.

The sound of the bell above the door pulled you from your thoughts, and you smiled as Misha walked in. He was wearing a black v neck and a baseball cap, reminding you of the younger version of himself you used to know. The sight of him stirred up your feelings even more and you fought to keep them down as he found you made his way over. He kissed you on the cheek before sitting down, causing your smile to widen even more.

“Hey beautiful.” Your face felt like it was going to split in half if you smiled any wider. “How you doing?”

“Pretty good. How’s the convention so far today?”

Misha smiled, going off about his day. You loved listening to him talk about something he was so passionate about, his face lighting up as he got caught up in the moment. He told you about breakfast with the rest of the attending cast, and then hanging out with Rob and Rich during their panel.

You were so lost in thought you didn’t even realize Misha had stopped talked until he started laughing to himself. You furrowed your brow and shook your head slightly. “What?”

“You’re staring.” Misha chuckled. “Did you even hear anything that I said?”

“Of course, yeah.” You laughed, embarrassed. “Sorry, you just get really happy when you talk about this stuff. It’s kind of cute.”

Misha smiled. “Yeah, well, I love it. The conventions, getting to know the fans, spending time with everyone, it’s just amazing. Knowing I can help make a difference in someone’s life, that makes it all worth it. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, it makes sense.” The smile on his face made you feel all warm inside. You felt so comfortable around him, like you could just be yourself. Maybe that’s why you didn’t think before you spoke, reaching for your drink. “It’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you in the first place.”

You felt a blush start to spread across your face as it dawned on you what you’d just said. Misha cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, obviously taken by surprise. You opened and closed your mouth, but nothing came out.

“I, uh,” you babbled as you tried to amend the situation. “I didn’t mean- well, I did, but not like- oh gosh,” you hid your face in your hands, groaning.

Misha reached across the table and pulled your hands away, forcing you to look up. “Hey, you’re fine. I get it, really.” He smiled softly, holding your hands. “I’m not going to rush you, or force you into anything. Ok? You know how I feel, and whenever you decide what you’re feeling, I’ll be there to listen.” He ran his thumbs over the back of your hands. “It’s ok.”

You let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding. You smiled back at Misha. “Yeah.”

He kissed one of your hands before letting go and smiling. “I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”

* * *

Almost an hour later, food long since gone, the two of you just talking about life and enjoying each other’s presence. It was amazing how easily conversation flowed when you talked with Misha, as if almost no time had passed since you’d last been together. He told you a little bit more about what he’d been up to after you left, and how he ended up landing a role on the show. You told him about college and the different jobs you’d worked, ending up with the most current one you were still at.

Before you knew it, it was almost one thirty and Misha had to get back to the convention center. He paid for your meal (as much as you insisted that you pay for your own), and you left the shop, arms linked together as you walked down the sidewalk towards your car.

“You’re sure you can’t come back with me?” Misha tugged at your arm as you pulled out your car keys, and you laughed.

“I told you, I have to go to work soon.” It wasn’t often that you had to work at the office, but every now and then there was a mandatory meeting that you had to attend. Today just happened to be one of those days. “But tomorrow I only have a small article to do research on, which shouldn’t take very long. I’ll see you then.”

Misha pursed his lips and pretended to pout, before you began to open your door and he pulled you into his arms.

“Promise?” He mumbled into the top of your head.

You smiled, burying your face in his chest. “I promise.”

With that he let you go, kissing your forehead briefly. “I love you.”

You leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. “I know.” Chuckling softly to the amused look on his face, you got in your car and waved as you pulled out of your parking space, watching him walk away towards the convention. 

Your lips tingled and you couldn’t keep the smile off your face. There was still a lot left to discuss with Misha before he left, but for now, you were satisfied with where you were at. Things were finally looking up for a change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm moving this story over from my blog, so I'm uploading all the parts up through what I have, and after that, I update every week. Follow me on tumblr at ruined-by-destiel for more of my works.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He never thought he’d get a second chance with you. Life didn’t work like that and it wasn’t something he’d been counting on. But now, being here with you at his side, he felt like he couldn’t thank the universe enough. He wasn’t going to screw it up this time.

The rest of your day went by pretty fast, much to your liking. Since you didn’t have anything else going on, you’d decided to start early on your article at your office instead of heading home. You’d lost track of time as you worked and before you knew it, it was almost ten and you had finished writing. You sent it to your boss and got your stuff together, heading out to your car.

Pulling out of the parking garage you realized it had started raining, and it was pouring by the time you got home. The street lights were out and you couldn’t see any light coming from any of the apartment windows. Cursing under your breath, you parked and grabbed your things before bolting to your door. Even though you’d only spent a few seconds in the rain, you were soaked to your skin. You sighed and unlocked your door, pausing in the doorway when you saw what was inside.

Candles were lit everywhere, the table was set up for two, and the smell of food reached you from the kitchen, making your stomach growl. You slowly shut the door. Taking a few steps inside.

“Hello?” You tentatively called out. The sound of dishes clattering made you turn your head, just in time to see Misha walk out of the kitchen. He smiled sheepishly.

“I really couldn’t wait until tomorrow to see you again.” He set the two glasses he had been holding on the table. “You weren’t home when you got here so I found a spare key.”

You rolled your eyes, smiling. “I see that.” You looked around again, remembering the candles. “You also found just about every candle I have.”

Misha laughed. “Yeah, the power went out just a while ago.” He took a few steps closer, finally getting a good look at your current state. “Y/N, you’re soaking wet.”

In the moment, you’d completely forgotten. “Oh, yeah. It’s pouring outside.”

He chuckled. “I noticed. How about you go get changed and I’ll put the food out?”

“Ok.” You smiled at Misha again before heading off to your room. You changed quickly and then grabbed a towel to dry your hair a bit, feeling much better and then heading back to the area that served as your dining room. You walked over to where Misha stood by the table and he pulled you into a hug.

“Long day?”

You nodded, breathing in the smell that was just so Misha. It brought back floods of memories from when you were younger, and you couldn’t help but smile. You looked up when you felt Misha laughing. “What?”

“What are you doing?”

You nuzzled back into his chest. “You smell good.” You rolled your eyes and pulled away when he started laughing again. “What??”

“Nothing, you’re just cute.” He kissed your forehead. “You really haven’t changed a bit.”

“Hmm.” You placed a quick peck on his lips. “Let’s eat?”

He kissed you back. “Let’s eat.”

* * *

You sat back in your chair as you pushed away your plate. “Ok, when did you learn to cook like that?”

Misha stretched his arms out and linked his fingers behind his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve always been a good cook.”

“Ok, yeah, but that was incredible. You were definitely not that good before.”

Misha shrugged. “I’ve experimented a lot with cooking over the years. I knew this guy, we went out a few times, and we would cook a lot and make up all these different recipes…”

You listened to Misha talk with a smile on your face. Back in the day the two of you would spend hours with each other every day, just talking about life and small things. It was just so easy, being around him, and you didn’t ever think you’d have that again. But here, now, it felt just like it used to. And it felt great.

“Y/N?”

You were pulled out of your thoughts. “Yeah?”

Misha laughed. “You’re staring again.”

“What?” You hadn’t even realized it. “Sorry, I was just thinking.”

Misha reached over the table and grabbed your hand, rubbing circles with his thumb. “What about?”

You shrugged. “You. Us.” You linked your fingers together. “How much I missed this. Talking, just hanging out.”

“Yeah. Me too.” Misha smiled at you and your heart did a small flip.

He stood up from the table and walked over to your couch, sitting down and sighing deeply.

You smiled, walking towards him and sitting at his side. “Hey, guess what? I finished my article so I’m free all day tomorrow.”

Misha’s face lit up, throwing an arm over your shoulder. “So you’ll be at the convention?”

“Yep.” You wrapped your arms around his waist and leaned up against him. “All day.”

“Awesome.” He buried his face in your hair and pulled you closer. The two of you stayed that way for a while, enjoying the closeness and intimacy of the moment. You’d missed moments like these the most. It was amazing.

You started to absentmindedly draw patterns on Misha’s stomach, a smile growing on your face when he started to wiggle from your touch, a slight giggle escaping from his lips. You kept dragging your hand over his stomach, slowly until you found his side and began to tickle him. The effect was instantaneous.

“Y/N!” He tried to push you off but you persisted, working at his sides. He laughed uncontrollably while trying to get you off him, but not having much luck. You began to laugh as well, fighting his efforts to get you to stop.

You only pulled away when he was red in the face and having trouble breathing from laughing so hard, laying on his side on the couch and clutching his stomach. His breathing evened out and you smiled triumphantly, but your victory was short lived.

Before you knew it, Misha was back up and had you on your back, your arms pinned on either side of you and his face mere inches away from yours. “That wasn’t very fair.”

You smiled. “But it was fun. Especially since you can’t get me back. You know I’m not ticklish.”

Misha titled his head to the side, a devilish grin on his face. “Who said anything about tickling?”

His voice suddenly became much deeper, eyes boring into yours. You could feel your heartbeat pick up and your breathing quickened, the situation a lot less innocent than it had been only moments ago.

Misha dipped his head down and began to kiss your neck, agonizingly slow. His weekend scruff brushed your skin, causing a slight burning sensation that sent goosebumps all over your body. It felt like a slow burn, and you absolutely loved it. Your breath hitched when he found your pulse point and began to suck on it, nipping at the skin and soothing it over with his tongue. He pulled back a few seconds later, observing his work before returning to kiss your neck and up your jawline. Your heart raced as he made his way up, teasing you and kissing you everywhere on your face but your mouth.

He pulled away for a moment, taking the sight of you in. His pupils were blown with lust, his breathing labored. You knew he was doing all he could to hold back, not wanting to take this further than you were comfortable. You stared back at him, holding his gaze, and in that moment you knew you wanted nothing else than his lips all over your body.

You breathed out his name. “Misha…”

His lips were on yours before you could register he had moved. You quickly responded back, your lips moving against his in perfect sync. He opened his mouth slightly and ran his tongue over your bottom lip, asking for permission. You responded by parting your lips and allowing him full access.

Misha finally let go of your arms and cupped your face with one hand, using the other one as leverage so he didn’t crush you under his body. He kissed you passionately but slowly, taking his time to explore your mouth with his tongue. You brought your hands up to his chest and moved them lower until they found the hem of his shirt, pulling it up. You were surprised by how muscular Misha was, and ran your hands over his toned skin.

He moaned against your mouth and kissed you harder. You moved one hand behind his head, pressing him firmly against your lips. Your fingers carded through his hair and tugged gently, causing him to groan again, making your stomach flutter. You pushed against his chest and moved until you were sitting in an upright position, breaking the kiss to catch your breath.

You took in the sight in front of you: Misha with his kiss swollen lips, disheveled hair and hooded eyes, watching you intently. He looked so handsome in the dim candlelight, and suddenly you needed more. Your heart pounded in your chest as you pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, looking him over again and deciding this was what you wanted. You spoke in a whisper, almost too soft to be heard.

“Bedroom?”

Misha’s eyes fluttered shut and ran his hands over your face, and down your torso, pressing his forehead against yours. He whispered back, his deep, lust filled voice sending shivers down your spine.

“Yes please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr at ruined-by-destiel for more of my works.


	11. Chapter 11

You moaned against Misha’s lips as he effortlessly picked you up and carried you from the couch to your bedroom. Your lips migrated to his neck and you nipped at the sensitive skin on his pulse point. He let out a soft noise and gently set you down on the bed, kissing you firmly before pulling away to pull off his shirt.

You began to pull down your sweatpants and he assisted you the rest of the way, throwing both articles of clothing aside. Misha crawled back over you, his hands making their way up from your thighs to your stomach, where his thumbs rubbed small circles into your hips.

Misha pulled away briefly, eyes boring into yours. His breathing was labored and his voice low, rumbling in his chest. “You’re so beautiful.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.” You laughed, panting softly.

Misha’s lips attacked your neck while his hands kept travelling up. His breath hitched momentarily and he hissed in your ear.

“Christ, Y/N, you not wearing anything under this?”

You chuckled lightly, running your fingers through his hair.

“Maybe. What are you gonna do about it?”

Your laughter died on your lips as Misha’s mouth was back on yours, kissing you like there was no tomorrow. There was a pang in your heart when you realized tomorrow may be all that you had left. You tried to push the thought aside, not wanting it to distract you from the now.

It wasn’t a hard thing to do, with Misha’s hands wandering downwards, sending chills all over your body. You relaxed into the kiss and his touch, allowing yourself to be taken over by him completely.

* * *

You blinked in the sunlight streaming from your window, sighing contentedly. You turned your head slowly, looking behind you to see Misha still deep asleep. You couldn’t help but smile at his mussed hair and the peaceful expression on his face, his chest rising and falling slowly.

You’d fallen asleep in a tangle of limbs and sheets, most of which had been kicked off the bed during the events of the night. You smiled to yourself, melting back into Misha. His arm tightened around your waist and he stirred slightly, a small sound escaping his lips. You wiggled in his grasp until you were facing him, softly brushing some stray hairs from his face. He made a happy sound and nuzzled into your shoulder, causing you to laugh. Misha slowly opened his eyes, blinking the sleep away before focusing on you. You smiled.

“Good morning.”

Misha smiled back at you. “Waking up to a beautiful girl in my arms, yes it is.” You giggled and he leaned forward a bit to place a soft kiss to your lips. “Sleep well?”

“Very.” You ran a hand through his hair. “You?”

“Mhm.” Misha’s eyes fluttered shut again at your touch. “Wanna stay like this forever.”

You hummed in agreement. “Me too.” You buried your face in the crook of Misha’s neck. “But we have to get up at some point.”

Misha reached over to the bedside table for his phone and checked the time. “I don’t have to be at the convention center for another two hours.” He turned back around and wrapped his arms around you. “Do you want to get up now or later?”

You closed your eyes, wishing you could make this moment last forever. “Later. Just…” you trailed off, willing yourself to hold it together. “Just hold me.”

Misha nodded, holding you closer against him. “Anything you want.”

* * *

You got up about an hour later, showering quickly before heading to the kitchen to make some breakfast. You munched on an apple as you pulled up your email on your laptop, checking for any messages from work. Misha walked in soon after, having showered as well. He kissed you on the top of your head as he made his way across the room, pouring himself some of the coffee you’d just made. He sat across from you at the table and pulled out his phone, most likely checking his schedule, you assumed.

“You said you don’t have any plans for today?”

The sound of Misha’s voice caused you to look up from your computer. “No, just the convention.”

“Good. Jared and Jensen invited you to lunch with us, if you’re up for it?”

Your stomach did a small flip. Sure, you’d known Misha for years, but sometimes you still forgot that he was famous now. Never in your life did you think you’d be having lunch with the stars of your favorite show, much less that they’d asked for you specifically. “Yeah, sure. Sounds fun.”

Misha smiled and started typing out a response. You finished your apple and got up to throw it away, coming back to stand behind Misha and wrapping your arms around his neck. He took one of your hands and kissed it.

“Today is a slow day for me, so I’ll have a lot of down time.”

“Mmm.” You laid your head on Misha’s shoulder and closed your eyes as he kept talking. You vaguely heard what he was saying as your thoughts trailed off in another direction. You were going to have to talk to Misha at some point today about where the two of you stood after today. You really didn’t want this to end, but what options did you have?

You snapped out of your thoughts when Misha brought a hand to your face and tilted it towards him. “You ok?”

You nodded. “Yeah.” Smiling, you pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “Just excited to spend the day with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr at ruined-by-destiel for more of my works.


End file.
